I like to think that I know my body very, very well. Too well sometimes, see I had cancer as a child, so my awareness of my body was always heightened. I was encouraged to pay attention to the big and the small things happening within my physical body. I learned from toddler age to hold still and let the Dr.'s do what HAS to happen. Some of those things were regular and mundane, and others were very intrusive and hard. I guess I learned to control my body in crisis in a different way than many people have.
Today as I grow in my spiritual path I like to think that daily I have a good handle on my body, my mind, and my soul. My health in general, I know what I need, I know what I need to stay away from (food, activities, people, energy, ect). but every once in a while I get thrown for a SERIOUS loop.
That happened this past weekend to me, I was thrown for a big ol' ugly traumatic loop. My body failed me in a way that breaks me. My body, like everyone's, had a hiccup and it landed me in the ER, being poked, and prodded, test after test. And at the end of the day, there was nothing to be done for me. I was sent home with inconclusive test results, arms that are bruised and sore, one arm swollen that night from a blown out IV, pain levels that were still out of control, a worn out body, and a sad heart.
I am sharing this with you because it happens to us all, and part of my path to teach and guide people includes talking about the messy, scary, debilitating, sad events that happen in our lives. As a collective we have the opportunity to stand together and support each other through our vulnerability.
Many of you know me as a strong, outgoing, positive, self-aware woman. All of those characteristics were challenged during this event, however the take away for me this time was to take a moment and remember that I too, am a fragile human, that being vulnerable and asking for help is a necessary part of our existence, individually and collectively.